It has been a while since I attempted to talk much about home life; however, I think it is about time. Maybe it will help someone else in the future, who knows. If not, maybe it will at least help me to get it out there.
Regardless, thank you for reading!
Alcoholism is a nasty disease that can affect anyone. I have been living with a family member who has been struggling with it for many years, and the ups and downs can be so extreme that you are unsure if you’re coming or going.
My children had started to realize what was going on, and that this person was causing them more stress than they needed. My son (now 10) even started to ask questions and discuss the situation with me, sounding so much like an adult that my heart broke a little. He needs to be able to have a childhood, without having to worry about adult things already. My daughter was starting to miss this family member, knowing that they were around, but not really focused, not really seeing her, experiencing her.
Fortunately, the family member has come to realize that it was not only affecting them, but also our whole family, including the ones that do not see them on a daily basis. People were beginning to worry about their health, people were beginning to want to do interventions, people were starting to try to have talks with them as a one-on-one request to stop.
It has been less than two weeks since the recovery started, but it is going well fortunately. There are side-effects, I have to admit. The family member does have a short temper, missing something that they were used to for so long. I have explained this to my son and let him know that it is part of the recovery and to try not to take it personally. He seems to understand, and seems to be doing better psychologically, acting like a kid again.
I find myself searching resources online to see what I can read about recovery, and I watch movies and videos about the subject, learning what I can. I am here for the long haul, but I do fear the ugly head being reared back into our lives, at every turn. I think that is part of the process, that I have to learn trust again. I trust that they want to succeed in this, and I trust that they would never do anything to harm me or my children; however, I do not trust the culprit – the alcohol. There is nothing that can prepare you for what the alcohol can do. It is so variable that at times you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, just trying to make sure you don’t accidentally hit that trigger that sends them back over to it.
If any of you are dealing with something like this, feel free to comment below or message me! I have found a few resources for it online, and as I learn, I am more than willing to be an ear for others! Just remember, you are not the cause. You are not the reason for the madness or anger or depression or whatever else it is that the alcohol brings up in the person. You are the one there to help them out of it. If it is too much for you, though, do not feel like a failure if you give up. You did everything you could. I struggle with these things myself, so I hope they help you too!